Been a long damn time since I wrote here

So, its been a while I guess.....

I learned something today.   I'm now full time in female role, changed my name etc etc but still a little nervous sometimes, I worry about how I am perceived etc.

So after work tonight, I got on the bus to go home - as ever, I wanted to sit alone - in fact I deliberately avoided a loud group of girls who went upstairs (where I normally go) and sat at the back on the ground floor.  A few stops later someone shuffled onto the bus - a slightly decrepit older man who was a little bit strange looking and was yammering to himself a little.    As with anyone like that threat detectors go up and the response is "please dont sit next to me!"

Despite there being other seats, nearer to the front of the bus he came and sat next to me.   The initial reaction was "how do I deal with this, I dont like it and I am stuck here" but the realisation came to me - this was not some weird old dude he is a person who, like me, is a little unusual and has threat detection of his own and he felt safest sat next to me!

Whilst I didn't actually speak to him or interact with him in any way it was a real life affirming moment that another human being, on first impressions only, felt more comfortable in my presence than anyone else on that bus.

Rather than being horrified that the "weird person" has sat next to you, be pleased that they have identified you as the person who is safest to sit with from that fraction of a second that they have to judge you.