lets get the obligatory done. 1kg (2.2lbs) lost so that nicely counteracts last week.
I dont really feel that I have a great deal to write this week, there certainly doesn't feel to have been any great developments or personal growth. I've applied for another job - I flippin HATE my current one and need out, sooner rather than later.
I cant remember if I've posted about the troubles with the Morris, but the new engine is now installed and nearly all the bolts are done up. It runs, albeit badly and the mission is to try and fix it on Thursday.
Danni Out. x
Sunday 23 January 2011
Monday 17 January 2011
oops
oops! I forgot to make an entry last night!
Well, put weight on. Boo Hiss! 0.6kg. Bleh!
Anyway, I'm posting this from work so have to be a bit sensible with what I write.
The big news for the week is that I have been asked to write something for the Pride Feb newsletter (Pride in this instance being the work LGBT group) and I'm completely stuck for what to write. I'm fairly sure that I am the only active T-person within the group, but heck its hard to tell sometimes! So should I write a call to arms? a documentary piece, something observational or something helpful? I'm really stuck.
The other thing that I've been contemplating in a weird abstract way recently is my name. Of course, here and most places online, I am Danni but in the real world most of the time I am Dan. I've always found it very difficult when people called me Danny - why? Is it some kind of reference to the gender of that name? Is it too close to the female form of Danni? Maybe its just an ugly looking word? I think its too "harsh" in form very angular and masculine whereas the i of Danni helps smooth it over and makes the word visually more attractive. Either way, I've started calling myself Danni at work now to colleages and customers - of course most percieve it with the y but internally I'm clinging on to dear life to the I. Some people are spelling it with an I which is FANTASTIC but I dont feel that I can force that onto everyone at this point, in fact I'm still struggling to get people to address me as anything other than Dan, or Daniel. Meh.
Anyway, time to sign off and think about what to write.....
Well, put weight on. Boo Hiss! 0.6kg. Bleh!
Anyway, I'm posting this from work so have to be a bit sensible with what I write.
The big news for the week is that I have been asked to write something for the Pride Feb newsletter (Pride in this instance being the work LGBT group) and I'm completely stuck for what to write. I'm fairly sure that I am the only active T-person within the group, but heck its hard to tell sometimes! So should I write a call to arms? a documentary piece, something observational or something helpful? I'm really stuck.
The other thing that I've been contemplating in a weird abstract way recently is my name. Of course, here and most places online, I am Danni but in the real world most of the time I am Dan. I've always found it very difficult when people called me Danny - why? Is it some kind of reference to the gender of that name? Is it too close to the female form of Danni? Maybe its just an ugly looking word? I think its too "harsh" in form very angular and masculine whereas the i of Danni helps smooth it over and makes the word visually more attractive. Either way, I've started calling myself Danni at work now to colleages and customers - of course most percieve it with the y but internally I'm clinging on to dear life to the I. Some people are spelling it with an I which is FANTASTIC but I dont feel that I can force that onto everyone at this point, in fact I'm still struggling to get people to address me as anything other than Dan, or Daniel. Meh.
Anyway, time to sign off and think about what to write.....
Sunday 9 January 2011
Meh.
Im feeling really fed up with it all right now.
I dont really know how to put it into words, but Im so frustrated with everything right now. Because of the home situation I probabally won't be able to go FT until summer 2012 (when the sis graduates Uni) and unless I can get the money up to go to Thailand (fat chance) I'm going to be 30 before I can have the surgery.
Im fed up with looking down and seeing something that shouldn't be there. I need to get on with my life but feel like I'm in limbo. My friends and colleauges are all supportive but the "biggest" people in my life - my family - aren't.
I'm thinking that once I'm out then its maybe time to lay the cards on the table and get them to deal with it - I cant do it whilst I'm here though - I'm just not strong enough.
Im channeling my self loathing into spending money, I need to be more careful and funnel my cash into paying off the parents and escaping.
Im feeling really lonely and want someone to share life with but in my current situation its night on impossible. bleh.
As for the obligatory weightloss bit. 0.9kg - so 41.5lbs down now. Still got the gut and need to sort that out.
I dont really know how to put it into words, but Im so frustrated with everything right now. Because of the home situation I probabally won't be able to go FT until summer 2012 (when the sis graduates Uni) and unless I can get the money up to go to Thailand (fat chance) I'm going to be 30 before I can have the surgery.
Im fed up with looking down and seeing something that shouldn't be there. I need to get on with my life but feel like I'm in limbo. My friends and colleauges are all supportive but the "biggest" people in my life - my family - aren't.
I'm thinking that once I'm out then its maybe time to lay the cards on the table and get them to deal with it - I cant do it whilst I'm here though - I'm just not strong enough.
Im channeling my self loathing into spending money, I need to be more careful and funnel my cash into paying off the parents and escaping.
Im feeling really lonely and want someone to share life with but in my current situation its night on impossible. bleh.
As for the obligatory weightloss bit. 0.9kg - so 41.5lbs down now. Still got the gut and need to sort that out.
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