Meh.

Im feeling really fed up with it all right now.

I dont really know how to put it into words, but Im so frustrated with everything right now. Because of the home situation I probabally won't be able to go FT until summer 2012 (when the sis graduates Uni) and unless I can get the money up to go to Thailand (fat chance) I'm going to be 30 before I can have the surgery.

Im fed up with looking down and seeing something that shouldn't be there. I need to get on with my life but feel like I'm in limbo. My friends and colleauges are all supportive but the "biggest" people in my life - my family - aren't.

I'm thinking that once I'm out then its maybe time to lay the cards on the table and get them to deal with it - I cant do it whilst I'm here though - I'm just not strong enough.

Im channeling my self loathing into spending money, I need to be more careful and funnel my cash into paying off the parents and escaping.

Im feeling really lonely and want someone to share life with but in my current situation its night on impossible. bleh.

As for the obligatory weightloss bit. 0.9kg - so 41.5lbs down now. Still got the gut and need to sort that out.