Another week done

Well,

Its been pretty much a non-week this week, very little of note or interest has happened really. I'm still feeling pretty buoyant though after last week and having hopped on the scales I'm feeling even better. 91.5kg (12st 11) meaning I've finally hit that magical 4 stone figure - and with a 6lb loss this week! Still aiming for 1 more stone but we'll have to see how that one goes really.

Monday-Weds and Saturday were just normal, boring working days and I didn't really do a great deal on Thursday or Friday but I did go with Martin (the chap who is sleeping in the front room at the moment) to see "Rise of the Planet of the apes" on Friday night, and that was rather good - well worth a watch if you are thinking about it!

Another thing thats well worth watching is "Firefly" a TV series by Joss Weedon. I've had the box set for about 5 years now and never got round to watching it. Its basicly a space western but its absolutely ace

So, I think its time to start really working on my career again after a long period of being lax - I've got a meeting with Kerry, my mentor on Monday morning. Its been a while since we last saw each other (apart from a brief "hello" at Pride) so its going to be very good to catch up. There's a lot we need to chat about outside of the direct remit of careers too - I really need to take some advice from her about how to handle the trans stuff with interviews/if I get the job.

Remaining targets for the week are to finish the washing and make shepherds pie tonight.

Danni out
x

Late again

Gosh, what a week - so much to say, but I really have no idea how to say it.

After seeing the Psych on Monday (see previous post) I've been pretty much walking on air all week and nothing has really sunk in - I actually really feel like for once I am making significant progress rather than just blowing about in the breeze, heading in all directions. Following my appointment I have felt hugely empowered with a new found confidence and actually deeply happy - I really can't remember the last time that I felt this good.

Stemming from my state of mind on Monday evening, I put a request in at work - that I should be allowed to attend in female guise on Wednesday and it caused a bit of a hoo-ha and a descision was not forthcoming throughout the whole of the day - my manager called me in for a chat (45 mins after she should have gone home) and apologised for the lack of answer but suggested that I should take the action I felt most appropriate in the morning, but be prepared to use the male facilities when dressed if need be. It made for a very stressful day indeed.

Anyway, Wednesday morning came and I made my descision although I hadn't heard anything from the office, when I arrived I was immediately pulled into one of the side rooms and told that a descision had been made - I could attend in female guise, and use female facilities. I was over the moon and I had definately made the right choice in my black "office" skirt, red top and of course the now obligatory scarf (maroon/black) throughout the day I got nothing but positive reactions and some amazing offers of assistance from those who I would never expect to do so. Really fantastic day.

Thursday and Friday were slightly nothing-ish days really in that I only mooched around the house and did little things - there is however one significant event in that for the first time ever I went out with only foundation on, I normally wouldn't even get within six foot of the front door without at least foundation, blusher and lippy - so I guess thats a small step forwards too.

Saturday was, of course, the day of the Pride parade and all the work that we have put into the companys involvment and the float came to fruition. I'm yet to see any photos of me from the event but the local paper (the Argus) has this picture of the Amex float on their website front page

I think it gives a good indication of just how fab our float was. The parade was, as ever, great fun and the park a bit of a let down (not allowed to take drinks in) and in order to have fun you'd need to spend a fortune. Having spent a short while in the park I ran home (on the bus) to get changed for the evening do at work and after a great deal of eating drinking and smoking (no more from now on) it was time to move on - whilst many folks headed on to St. James street I felt like I'd hit my limit, I'd not eaten a great deal and drunk too much so time to head home before it got messy.

I came home to a message from Tree saying that a letter from Hove Polyclinic had arrived and did I want to know the contents? She read it over the phone and it was my referral letter - its been done and sent! I'm going to ring CX on Monday next week just to check its been recieved and processed. The letter contained a large amount of personal details, and a few errors, which I feel might need correcting but I do want to share the last paragraph, which left me feeling pretty damned good

"He presented at the assesment today in appropriate and sucessful female attire with long hair and make up, clearly female trousers and top. He has deliberately lost 4 stone in weight over the past year which has had pleasing effects on his body shape. He seems to be making a well thought through descision to persue the gender reassignment process at this time"

Aside from the use of male pronouns - which I guess is down to convention, I'm really pleased with that, especially the comments on pleasing body shape and that I am making a well thought through descision.

Sunday was the day of the roast dinner and Tree came to see my new abode for the first time, she and Veryan, the landlady, hit it off almost immediatly and Sammydog seemed to fall in love with her too. A great meal was cooked and eaten and a fantastic evening of chat and fun was had. Having walked Tree to the bus it was time to wave goodbye to an amazing week.

So, what has the week that was taught me? Following on from my day at work I am more convinced than ever that I am following the right track and I'm now trying to work through when its going to be feasible for me to go full time at work - I'm still going to attend in male guise until that point, I think that regular chopping and changing isn't going to do me any favours.

I keep being drawn to 01 Jan 2012 but I really need to get something done about the face fuzz before I feel I can do it - I'm going to spend 20mins a night playing with the home IPL machine to see if I can make any difference. I need to give 2 months notice at work really and if I can make some progress into the tache/beard area then it may still be viable but really I need to find the money to pay for a whole course of treatment (£1200 for 8 sessions) and the time for it to work as its a long process.

Peace and Love.

Danni x

Further steps

Well, I wasn't able to post on Sunday, time just wouldn't allow....

Last week was a bit odd really. I had a liason with a chap on Monday night and it left me spinning out a little bit and I ended up not going into work for the rest of the week. Didn't really do much other than think and wonder about where I was going and what I wanted from things and relationships etc. It really drove home to me that I dont want, and can't really handle casual flings. Lesson learned anyway.

Had to deal with the folks over the weekend as it was Dads birthday, which was stressful, not to mention the uncle, aunt ADHD 9yr old and the sisters birthday but I got through it relatively unscathed.

The BIG news though, is that I had my psychiatrists appointment today and I was BRICKING IT. I opted to go in a casual guise, flats, scoopneck black top, jeans and a maroon & black scarf (which I have only recent bought but LOVE) and I wound up getting there 25 minutes early.

The psych was absolutely brilliant, I felt really comfortable in his presence and it seemed that all the questions were relevant, appropriate and easily discussed (apart from the one about erectile function....)

Anyway, half an hour down he remarked that I seemed to be incredibly well sorted, knew what I wanted, needed and what I needed to do get there and referred me to Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (CX GIC) its a pain though, as the waiting list is long - potentially up to six months. Its another small step, but a massive leap forwards another big, scary one, but I really cant wait to get that letter confirming it in my hand.

This is one very happy Danni posting. Peace out x