FUCK IT

FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT!

Well, to say that I am snarfed off with myself is a teensy bit of an understandment. I am such a fucking moron. Im stupid because I allowed myself to get all excited over this stupid flat without actually doing the mature thing and looking at the maths too. I cant fucking afford it! I cant afford to move anywhere it seems.

How in hell can I not afford to even live anywhere!? Its not even like I'm on a minimum wage

I feel so amazingly angry with myself for getting excited, so frustrated that I seem to be getting nowhere and I feel even worse about me.

I guess I was looking forwards to actually getting out and getting going to to speak, to actually have the freedom to be me. I feel so dissasociated from my physical presence at the moment its untrue and its driving me nuts. I guess that my negative feelings towards myself in general have given the trans stuff a kick up the arse. Maybe it'll rev down again in a bit. Maybe not.

In the meantime. FUCK IT!