The birthday has really given me a slap around the chops, Its not really unreasonable to expect to have your own place at 27 is it? Although my expectations about what I could achieve by this point have been watered down but I wanted to actually be getting somewhere with life and transition and I was hoping that I might actually have some semblance of life - I'm sick to death of living with the parents and having to justify everything I do to them. I REALLY need out of here but equally I don't really want to make a sudden move - I really do want a nice smooth move with some assistance from the folks if need be.
I've been really really down this last week, trans stuff has really hit me hard - why cant I just get it sorted out? Cant someone just flick a switch in my mind and make it all go away? It doesn't sound like a big thing to live like I feel I should does it? So why in hell does it make everything so damned complex? To top it off, the folks are constantly on my back at the moment about money and even had a go at me about it on my Birthday! Thats just sent me on another downwards Spiral and they are constantly asking whats up! Grrrr! They have no clue! It even turns out they've been asking my siblings what they can do to cheer me up! Well, I've got my new patient appointment at the doctors on Tuesday and will hopefully be able to get a proper appointment on Weds/Thurs and start to get things sorted out a bit.
Despite my aim to get the 4 stone in a year target, I've been really really bad this week and I've been comfort eating and boozing and I've put on 4.5lbs (2kg) this week! So in order to achieve that goal its got to be a 9lb loss this week. Thats not going to happen.
From now on each week, when I write this blog I'm going to set a few goals for the coming week, hopefully it'll help me make a little bit of progress.
- Speak to GP properly
- Prepare Rover for MOT
- Look seriously at bedsits and do appropriate sums.
Good luck. Re moving out, would it be worth looking in to house shares rather than bedsits? Generally more space and company for about the same cost as a bedsit (in my area at least) - downsides having to share the space with someone else if you don't get on.
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